My Testimony

I Couldn’t Find Satisfaction 

I am Chinese from a typical Chinese home. From a young age I realized something was missing in my life, which nothing seemed to fill. I followed my parents by worshiping idols and ancestors three times a day, but the loneliness stayed, and nothing satisfied me.

I stole my mother’s money when I was in elementary school, because I wanted so many things. I always thought, “Just a little bit more is enough,” but I never found a thing which made me happy.

When I was in high school, I felt no one loved me, and I tried to draw people’s attention by cutting my arm. But I still felt emptiness as I looked at the wound and saw the blood flowing.

After I finished high school, I worked in a Hardee’s restaurant and started to drink. I remember one night I was so drunk that I lay in the street. My friends said, “Are you crazy? This is a street. Wake up!” But I couldn’t control my body. Some of my friends called a taxi to take me back home. None of those bottles caused me joy.

I knew that I had a basic need to be loved and to love. I thought, "If I fall in love with a man, then the emptiness and loneliness will go away.” So I started to date, and at first everything was so wonderful. But later each man left me for different reasons. I was left with a broken heart, and the deep loneliness returned.

I Couldn't Find Satisfaction Until…...

When I was twenty years old, I worked in a restaurant and I met Pastor Victor HO, who was my teacher in the public school. He invited me to go to his church. Through Bible studies, I found my life’s answer. We are more than flesh and blood. Our soul is made in the image of GOD. Only He “has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good" (Psalm 107:9). We were never meant to live this life without Him. Until we find Him, we will never fill the emptiness within. I also recognized that "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ" (Romans 3:21). God's justice required that our sins be punished, but "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, [to die in our place] that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16). There is no other way. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me" (John 14:6). No one loves you like Christ, who "suffered for (our) sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God" (1 Peter 3:18). Only “the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7) Three days after He died, He rose from the dead, and now calls everyone to come to Him.  “Come to Me," He says, "all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you ……REST FOR YOUR SOULS." (Matthew 11:28-29). He also promises, "I came that they (you) may have life, and have it abundantly." (John 10:10)  I really wanted to have this abundant life rather than a meaningless life. I wanted to be saved and be holy. So I confessed my sins before God and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior.

After I was saved, God changed my heart, my mind, and my life. I did not worship idols anymore, to which my parents very much objected. I wanted to obey what God says in the Bible, so I went to my parents and said that I was sorry for all the ways I had sinned against them and for the ways that I had caused them heartache. I hated my sins. I did not drink anymore. Also, God changed my taste in music. Before I got saved, I loved Pop music and spent a lot of money on CDs, collecting more than 200 of them. But after I became a Christian, I threw all my CDs into the trash bin. My mom asked, “What are you doing? You so treasure those CDs and spent so much money on them!” And I replied to my mother, “Mom, those CDs can’t satisfy my heart, and now I only have one thing I treasure. That is Jesus.” God has a power to change all people, whatever age or color.

God also blessed me by giving me a godly husband and by saving my mother and my brother. "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household." (Acts 16:31)  God’s words never fail.

義

Finally, I want to share a Chinese character with you.  This Chinese character means “righteousness.” The upper part means “a lamb” and the lower part means “me.” Do you know the meaning of “righteousness”? It means the Lamb of God, who is Jesus, covers all my sins, so that I become a sinless person before God. “For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God.” (1 Peter 3:18a)  Only Jesus can give you such righteousness. I hope that you also will experience such a meaningful life.